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The fire service deals with two major types of conflict: the outward-facing conflict that the public sees, mostly emergencies. A structure on fire, a car mangled and upside down with occupants unable to escape, or a person stranded in rapidly rising water, clinging to a tree, are all situations that conflict with life safety. The second conflict, which is not specific to firefighters, is the interpersonal variety. Now, let me be clear: firefighters aren't afraid of conflict among themselves. However, the blind spot seems to be conflict resolution. Conflict is inevitable, but valuable. It is a natural part of human dynamics. Instead of avoiding it, we should lean into it and see it as an opportunity for growth and improvement.
After nearly 27 years of working in various roles, I have found that I tend to enjoy resolving conflicts. Following is my overall conflict resolution strategy:
Know the policies of the organization.
Engage with empathy and emotional intelligence.
Focus on future solutions, not past blame.
Lead with clear communication.
Accountability with compassion.
Five Responses to Conflict
Five Responses to Conflict
A good leader knows their personnel and must be able to recognize how their personnel are responding to conflict. These responses go beyond dominance and withdrawal. Thomas and Kilman list the following responses, along with many reasons associated with each one:
Avoidance
Accommodation
Aggression
Compromise
Collaboration
Cloke, K., & Goldsmith, J. (2011). Resolving conflicts at work: Ten strategies for everyone on the job (3rd ed.). Jossey-Bass.
Understanding the source and type of conflict is crucial, especially in high-stakes environments.
Internal conflict is with oneself, and may require mentoring or coaching.
Relational conflict may be between two or more people, and could require mediation.
Systemic conflict may be related to organizational or cultural misalignment. It may require an update in policies, operations, or involve many other areas.
Acute conflict could be a transient situation causing stress among personnel, and may need the reassurance of the leader.
Chronic conflict is a more serious situation requiring a more intentional and structured approach.
Each of these situations requires a keen awareness on the part of the leader, who can then develop the appropriate plan to work towards a resolution. This is an area where I have excelled by working with diverse personality types in high-stress situations, managing internal investigations, and collaborating with fire personnel, outside vendors, and contractors to meet timelines and keep projects on budget.
Cloke, K., & Goldsmith, J. (2011). Resolving conflicts at work: Ten strategies for everyone on the job (3rd ed.). Jossey-Bass.
How we sometimes create conflict unconsciously
How we sometimes create conflict unconsciously
Thin-slicing refers to making snap judgments with limited information. Using biases and stereotypes can distort how we perceive others.
The Warren Harding Error is an example of judging based on appearance.
Priming and environmental influence refer to allowing oneself to be influenced by the environment, even if it occurs unconsciously.
Overthinking occurs when we ‘read into’ things or assign motive or intent to the words or actions of others.
Ignoring nonverbal cues is significant because the majority of communication is nonverbal; different gestures have different meanings depending on culture.
Gladwell, M. (2005). Blink: The power of thinking without thinking. Little, Brown and Company.
Getting to YES!
Getting to YES!
Oftentimes, newer fire officers are uncomfortable dealing with the second type of conflict I mentioned earlier, interpersonal. I have built a template for them to write notes, talking points, or use as a general reminder to structure the conversation.
Go to the balcony - this serves as a mental detachment from the conflict, and allows you to look at it almost as if you were a third party.
Step to their side - This is frequently the opposite of what is expected. Most expect their adversary to dig in and take a firmer stance. This will demonstrate that you are willing to consider their perspective.
Reframe - Ask them to explain their stance in another way. This causes them to really think about their position on the issue, thinking through it at a deeper level.
Build a Golden Bridge - Try to close the gap, or help them save face. Most of our defenses are when we feel like we are losing something.
Use power to educate - show them that both sides stand to win.
Ury, W. (1993). Getting past no: Negotiating in difficult situations. Bantam Books.
The reality of conflict resolution is that there is no 'right way'. My conflict resolution style is to play to my strengths. I attribute my success in this area to my consistency and authenticity. The lessons learned in the coursework have certainly helped me refine my methods, but in essence, I rely on integrating everything I've witnessed, tried, read, and heard to continue growing. Things I do daily are:
Motivational interviewing - Ask about their motives and how they formed their opinions.
Ask better questions.
What is the problem as you see it?
What are our concerns?
What if ....?
Have you thought about?
Make sure to control my emotions.
You cannot diffuse the other side's negative emotions unless you have controlled your own.
By reacting, you become part of the problem.
Know your hot buttons and triggers, and know beforehand how you will pause the conversation.
"Conflict is not about winning; it's about resolving." — John Maxwell
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